Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
