so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
