we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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