Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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