I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
