But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm just crazy horny about you
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
