The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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