It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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