Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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