Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
