You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
