3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
