yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
