Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
