doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
