He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
