weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
