my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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