I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
