she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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