Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
