I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
This is the high leading the old right now
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
last night I used snow as a chaser
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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