GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I love you. Go after that dick
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
