We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My vagina is officially offended.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
