I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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