Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There's always time for handjobs
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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