NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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