There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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