i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
