Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
sarcasm needs its own font
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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