I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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