No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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