There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
