sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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