he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
