it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
