If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Bring me that man meat
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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