you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Are my feet made of real feet?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
