I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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