You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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