I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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