Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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