i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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