It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
