her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
