If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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