i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
