Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
