Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
