i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
