I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
