some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
