why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
