Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
